Wired For Tribe

By Nick Polizzi

I was walking beneath a huge willka tree in the jungle a few months ago when a shiver of realization ran down my spine. This tree relies on all of its branches, leaves, and roots to interface with the outside environment in a harmonious way in order to survive and thrive. There is no one part that is more important than the other, there is no separation among its many constituents. Every inch of this willka has an important role to play, and the health of the surrounding jungle depends on each tree like this one living in full connection with its neighbors.

We’re not much different than trees in this respect. The system of life-flow that is so essential to a healthy forest also applies to the two-legged mammals that walk the trails carved into its soil, and can be summed up in one word. TRIBE.

I often refer to this community as a tribe.

To many, this word feels exotic or of a different cultural ilk, but I think it’s time we began to bring the true meaning of tribe back into our modern lives.

In today’s world, our connection via the interwebs does loosely match tribe’s definition: a group of people linked by social, economic, religious, or blood ties.

But for the traditional people of the world, tribe takes place in much closer proximity. It’s the extended family, the community that shares and cares for one another.

In tribal societies, everything is shared: successes, failures, responsibilities, leadership. No single life occurrence is too intense or overwhelming for an individual to handle, because they don’t need to shoulder the burden alone.

For the Dagura tribe of Burkina Faso for example, when a death occurs, the entire village joins together in a complex and beautiful grief ritual that lasts for several days. Support for mourners continues long after the death, as grief is seen as a community event.

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In tribal societies, success is also shared. No success is too large for one person to contain without their ego exploding, because accomplishments are the result of a group endeavor.

For the Enawene Nawe tribe of Brazil, the Yãkwa ritual is a time for the tribe to spend several months fishing along the Amazon River by canoe, smoking the fish before returning to their villages with sustenance to last for months. Everyone wins, everyone celebrates, everyone is nourished.

Here in the U.S., our sense of tribe has largely vanished. Many ship their elders off to Florida or an isolated retirement home. We work our lives away so that we can afford our private houses, individual cars, and gizmos and gadgets that keep us disconnected from each other.

Meanwhile, our children are growing up without the wisdom from their grandparents. Kids are left to their own “devices,” and these days, those devices have screens. Many young people have replaced the world with an electronic interface for personal connection.

In order for an organism to function, all of its parts must be intact. If we look at our society as an organism, with the nuclear family at its core, all signs point to an organism that is disjointed and blocked.

No one wants to feel like their lives lack meaning, like many of our retirees do. When tribal folks enter their later years, they make the natural transition from provider to wisdom-keeper. It is their time to emerge as teachers, caregivers for children, and a grounding force for young adults and parents. Their role shifts, but they are just as needed.

Children of the tribe have two or three generations of role models, each with their own unique life perspective to bestow.

As a parent, I “see” how important my son River’s relationship with his grandparents is. They teach him a “way of being” that I simply don’t have access to yet. It’s magical and profoundly fulfilling to watch them interact.

This is just a glimpse of what is possible when we humans live in a fully interconnected way. So many of us feel alone and overwhelmed in our lives, even though we have loving friends and family. Could it be that we need to come closer into one another’s lives, and begin to share this human experience in a more meaningful way?

I believe that “tribe” is the prescription for many of the pitfalls in the modern world. But it comes with one price: we need to learn how to be intimately involved with one another again—with our families, with our neighbors, and spreading outward from there.

Over and over nowadays, I hear the same message being echoed: our needs and the needs of our loved ones are not being met. The irony is that our needs are all connected. The need of grandparents to have meaning can be quenched by bringing them closer to the family and their grandchildren.

The need of parents to have support and some time for themselves can be accomplished by the same act. Our children’s need for human connection, attention, and mentorship can also be filled by bringing back the tribe.

There are so many inefficiencies in the way we’ve set ourselves up that just don’t make sense. If we are open to their wisdom, the indigenous tribes of the planet and the forest itself have a lot to teach us.

Stay curious,

Nick Polizzi


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56 Responses

  1. How very true.

    Soldiers returning from war could be returned to society with a ritual such as the Navaho ritual used to reintegrate warriors back into civil society.

    So many things we could learn from Indigenous Peoples if we would just listen.

  2. I agree. We have lost our sense of community, belonging, and our nourishing spirit. What will it take for us to join together in this society? I believe it is up to us to take the first steps no matter how small or insignificant they may seem. One step is better than none. Blessings ~~~ Melinda

  3. Thank you, Nick, for an excellent post; very timely in the light of the Dakota Access Pipeline struggle in which Native Americans from many tribes are gathered to protect the drinking water of people in the upper Midwest against corporate interests.

  4. Profound!!! As a grandparent and a former teacher, I truly believe in the sense of tribe. Largely, our soiety has lost true sense of self and well as the sense of connection. Thank you for your reflection.

  5. I agree 100% but dear Nick you’re dreaming. Grand parents are in my case continents away. The idea of reinstalling the tribe is great but it will have to be in a different way than what we know from the indigenous cultures around the world. We can’t go backward we have to reinvent what the tribes helped to achieve but in a 21st century way. How will that be? I don’t know But since people crave that kind of closeness and support it will find a way. I’m sure. Thank you for all you do.

  6. Well put Nick, great reminder of how important connecting, sharing, experiencing with others, especially those with who we feel accepted & loved.
    Here in the states, (Calif.), many seem so desperate to constantly connect & reconnect, their willing to risk their lives & safety, (and those around them), that they text while driving, text while walking, (I read where many even check their phones while being intimate).
    I feel that ego plays a large part in this, and the desperate need to “belong”.
    As you often do, I believe we need to reconnect to wild places regularly, (even if just a city park) where we can actually feel peace & be ok without many of the modern day distractions. Who knows, we may even “find” a few tribal folks there!
    peace, Scott

  7. Hi Nick,
    I love this article – too true! I was lucky to have come from a close knit family. By my age of 44 both parents had passed. I personally feel it’s ridiculous how things are here in mainstream America suffering, especially emotional, for nothing! Bring back family & family dinners & go from there as you say, church etc. Thank you for another well written article !

  8. This was so beautiful to read. How true that we as a family have become so disjointed. I feel so blessed that I live in my own little place on my daughter and son in laws property. I get to see my grand daughter every day. I also watch my grand son every day. I love being a part of their lives. But I also have time for outside interest with my friends. I just recently lost my husband so having my tribe around me has been such a blessing. We got to remember husband, father,grandpa, together through laughter and tears,but not alone.

  9. Wired for Tribe….I love what you wrote. I have witnessed like we all have the disconnection of the youth today. I see how so many are not connected to the nature around them. Not having the understanding how everything is woven together. I do believe that we will see more organizations bringing a community of support together. Thank you for all you do.

  10. Nice post, Nick. Being an “old hippie” from the 60’s, I’ve always felt Tribe and “extended family” acutely, and yes, it’s they can be hard to find or sustain in our technological and consumer-driven world. Often I have found that “tribe” and “family” conflict, that the path of one negates the other. One forms from inclination and affinity while the other seems to be bound by duty and limitation. Bringing the two together or creating space for both separately has been a challenge in my life. Perhaps it is a generational thing… But your post is a reminder that it is not only possible but imperative for survival that we find a “way of connection” that works for each of us. It’s strange how the internet has both strengthened and obliterated our connectivity with others. We live in such a mysterious world!

  11. You’ve said it well. The human connection is a missing link for the ultimate joy of life. It’s time for us of all to return to our own nature as being a love as we are – spreading wisdom, love, happiness to every person we meet. Thank you Nick for the great reminder! 🙂

  12. This blog really resonated with me! Deep in my soul, I feel that today’s technology is eating away at our humanity. People (and especially the younger ones) truly believe they cannot live with out cell phones, at the expense of learning to communicate with people face to face. The gap is widening each day. Grandparents feel totally left out of their children and grandchildren’s lives. Neighbors are people to be avoided because you don’t know what kind of people the are. My children didn’t know their next door neighbors for over a year, and have therefore missed that time of being best friends that they have become. Minding your own business has it’s limits. I am as guilty as the rest and I am a grandparent, but at the core of my intuition, I don’t feel good about it.

  13. I read your article with great interest. I have been studying the Tribal people a larger part of my life and came to understand their Tribal Ways as you have eloquently outlined in your article. Indeed our modern culture is bereft of tribal associations and isolation is a growing problem now that little screens have replaced our need for relating to people. I see people all the time driving, shopping or at the gym staring at those little screens, talking to an invisible “person” ignoring all the people around them as if they did not exist or even count. I have looked for and hoped for a triple since I was a young man. My family was torn apart by cancer and alcoholism and I was separated from my sisters and lived from one foster home to another eventually becoming homeless for a short period of time. Spirituality has been a life quest and I have poured over many kinds of texts and Holy writings. I have been especially attracted to Native American Culture and Philosophy and of course educated myself as to their history from their perspective. My life has also been about finding a tribe, a sense of Kith and kin. There has just been too much chaos and moving about for one reason or another and at present I am pressed to move once again. This time there is much to leave behind especially tribal connections that I have taken years to develop: friendships, networks and organizations. I am retired from teaching music. That was traumatic as it was not on my terms, that tribe decided I was too expensive because I had taught for many years and had too many degrees. At 56 I was too expensive. Since then I had gotten involve with the Native american Community, a Pagan Community and was networking with Pow Wow Vendors and selling my jewelry designs. I also became part of a singing group that has been giving concerts all over Northern Illinois and Indiana. These had become tribal connection an budding fulfilling relationships. Now I find that because or escalating property taxes and rising expenses we are moving to Michigan to a less expensive area. All this upheaval and letting go of so much is distressing. I say all this to underline the importance of tribal connection, the connection of kith and kin. Many of us have had traumatic experiences that fractured our families, caused financial setbacks and sent family and friends to every corner of the country far away. Keeping those ties becomes increasingly difficult. When you are retired and do not have extended family to look to it’s difficult to put that all back together in some way. My predicament is one that many people face. as enlightened as I am I am stymied and perplexed regarding the issues at hand that again will isolate me from the tribe and kith and kin I have developed over 20 years here where I live in Chicago. At 63, my partner 68, we have under taken a move which is unfolding right now. In a ways this gives me great insight to many Native American Families and tribe that experiences similar circumstances and pain but much more severe and painful than I. One persons vision of progress is most often another reality of destruction of culture, family and religion traditions that had keep them solvent for centuries, decades or years. The question is how does one create new tribal connections during times of crisis and upheaval in ones life? Some answers are simple, after settling in, look for like minded people, organizations or communities within communities. One can volunteer for shelters, explore church and other spiritual organizations locally or even create one, like the music group I present sing with. This may be more difficult when one is older and was hoping to be more settled and able to finally do the creative and spiritual things that one hoped for but now whose time it taken up yet again, not by a job but the process of moving into a new area and all the detail involved with that. It many take up to a year or more just to settle into a new house, start a new garden and then begin to integrate into a new and very different community than one came from. It’s not an impossible task but it will take a special measure of faith in one’s ability and accumulated spiritual wisdom. Faith in the Wisdom of the Universe too putting us where we can best learn life’s lessons. Over the part two weeks it has been especially daunting as we pack, and are about to purchase a home that we hope will fit our needs. The word “trust” echoes in my heart is a soft way reminding me there are greater energies at work and I will have the wisdom and energy I need to complete the task and eventually find new connections that are fulfilling. I think of the tribes that were violently uprooted from their ancestral lands many times and the sheer terror and dispart that faced as they saw elders and children die along the way of the long arduous forced walk to reservations. One can read about the forced removals of the Cherokee, Lakota, Nez Perce and the Navajo. These were terrible times for these people but as a community they were incredible resilient in the face of catastrophic change. Their Nations survive today as well as other Tribes and Nations who are gaining momentum and cultural integrity in a new paradigm of engagement. When we are faced with such dramatic changes we must dig deeply into our reservoir of wisdom and spiritual understanding to navigate through the labyrinth of change. That is the only way to recenter ourselves and find the entrances into new “tribal relationships” which will come if we Trust in the Creators guidance and the Universal Collective experience that is a well within us. Thank you for your article.

  14. My people say Mitakuwe Oyasin “we are all related” not only in reference to Ina Makha (Mother Earth), but also for every tribe…as my people stand as “Protectors” at the Dakota Access Pipeline protests to stop an oil pipe line from being placed under the Missouri River, I remind those who honor and respect indigenous traditions that right here in America is a tribe of humanity that needs our relations to remember us…you are part of our tribe…..Please pray for the ones protecting your water at Standing Rock.

  15. Thank you, Nick. What a fantastic article. I grew up in China where we lived a “tribal” life due to poverty. When I came to the United States 30 years, I was amazed by the luxury of life such as hot water came out of faucets. However, there was an emptiness that I still remember. A sense of disconnect and “not belong”, like a lone boat in the middle of the ocean. As wealthy as the standard of life was, I felt poor in spirit, until I found my salvation in recent years.

    Thank you, Nick.

  16. I am very moved by what you’ve shared here, Nick.. I resonate deeply with this need we have as humans to reconnect with our tribe – our earth family; we are all connected in one way or another.. I am finding my way once again down the ‘rabbit hole’ to unearth memories I have of being in such a tribe as you have described. Years ago, I read ‘The Continuum Concept’ by Jean Liedloff. She spoke about what she had learned in South America from Stone Age Indians – basic things about human nature that we’ve forgotten; that we may deem unimportant now (my words). Today, in this cyber-world I am often challenged by, there is something crying out for us to listen to; to remember something that we are still connected to. Thank you for your curiousity, Nick.. and for your passion to delve into matters that lie deep at the root of who we are and need to be re-membered.

  17. Spot on, and incredibly salient points made on all counts regarding tribal wisdom. Our modern society is too often bereft of the many lessons that our species has acquired over the millenia in learning and giving to each other on a generational level. Opening ourselves back up to reaching out and being present with one another is a necessary first step in achieving some of those old familiarities….

  18. This came for me at the right moment! Thank you, Nick. I feel like I have another piece to the puzzle.

  19. Hi Nick,

    Incredibly well put and so very true of this day and again. Tribe is all but gone from the landscape and our vocabulary.

    Thanks for sharing,

  20. Nick,
    I couldn’t agree more on becoming more intimately involved with our families, friends, neighbors. There are many people who are crave the feeling of a finding a community and coming together again where they feel supported and loved.
    I enjoyed reading your article and it was a nice reminder to be there for your friends and family, your tribe, your people during these intense times and shifts we are experiencing.
    Thanks! Keep up the positive vibes!

  21. I agree 100% with what you have written and truly we are all suffering from that lack of community and of “tribe. We’ve gotten off on the wrong track and it’s our children and elders who suffer the most. We need to create community once again and heed the wisdom of the indigenous cultures.

  22. Thanks again for your thoughts and articles.

    I guess I prefer the word community, and especially the word family as your article points out – or the all inclusive family which in past would allow grandparents to live and die in the home, children knowing their wisdom and each member of the family taking care of the other. This was extended to smaller towns and communities – as told me by my mother who grew up on a farm, and as those of her generation did, went through a depression before food stamps and other Government aide was available. They would quietly leave baskets of farm eggs, and dairy milk on others doorsteps during the wee hours when no one would note their arrival.

    This assumes the family unit is healthy of course but even tribes and all that the word implies (community, family, society) depends on the health of the smaller unit extended outwards, like a cell in the larger context of the body. The danger of the closed unit (tribe) is that often outside influence is not “allowed”. (religious sects included) And even when this is not the case the tyranny of even one person can have a disastrous impact on any community from a single unit (abusive member of the family) or larger community (Hitler, others).

    Some tribes were cannibals, capturing members of other tribes as food sources! I would not wish to be in that tribe but even then some consumed dead members out of love and regard (allowing for a certain disease from eating dead flesh).

    In the 70’s I went to a lecture by a man who studied the impact of environment on human kind. Colin Macmillan Turnbull. (The Forest People, The Mountain People were among the amazing works of this British-American anthropologist, musician and later a Monk). (I don’t have the book from long ago so going on memory). He compared two tribes from Africa and then NYC.

    One tribe the Pygmies were loving, kind and called the forest mother as she provided for all of their needs. They had no words for hate or disregard of anyone. (that this loving gentle people were later sold into slavery and displayed in side shows as “monkeys” is shameful as is any act of disregard and cruelty for another human being but also in that so much could be learned from such a people as the author’s books show.)

    The other tribe, living in a harsh environment (they had been displaced from their natural cultural environment) where resources were scarce were not kind at all. Walking over a fallen elder, laughing as a baby crawled into a burning fire. Then the talk focused on the major city of NY, where he lived, and where I lived for 33 years.


  23. Yes i agree with you, there is a need for sharing the wisdom and love, we are all connected …thank you for sharing ..One love. one heart x

  24. Most excellent article Nick! I would say that industry and technology have played a very large part of family separation. “Move across town? No problem, I can drive over now. Move across country? No problem, I can just hop on a plane now.” Why is it then that we rarely (if ever) drive over or just hop on a plane?

  25. This is so true for many of us. Irrespective of where we are in the globe. Technology, globalization is both blessing and curse. In the end – respect the traditions of the elders, they are never wrong.
    Beautifully crafted article. Thank you.

  26. I have recently moved near my son and his family – my grandsons are 8 and 10 and my granddaughter is 18 months. Their parents are free to work and bring in the money, and I help by being with the kids, cooking and cleaning. It works well for all because we respect and love each other. I wish my parents had not died fairly young.

  27. Dear Nick,

    I totally agree with what you’ve said here. We are in the same tribe, Brother.



    1. Well Nick I guess we are on the same nuance. Everything coming out of my mouth makes reference to building, creating, sharing and bringing our Tribe back to the earth and its scared trees. I just recently put crystals in all the trees I have planted around the premitor of my gifted house from the universe. It sounds a little out there and it is. A great movement is in motion. I hope you tribe is well. I am really excited about attending the David Wolf conference at the end of the month. Thank You . Your energy seems so pure it comes through your e-mails.

  28. Thank you Nick for your insight into what is currently being assaulted into our family structure as a weapon.
    This is not an innocent by-product, as most people seem to digest it. Divide and conquer, divide and conquer, and then divide and conquer again. Divided we are so much easier to control. Do not let that happen. Go out of your way to not letting that happen. I know I will. I am sure the direction of your original intent was not such as this, however it never the less effected me in this way. I

  29. Well Nick I guess we are on the same nuance. Everything coming out of my mouth makes reference to building, creating, sharing and bringing our Tribe back to the earth and its scared trees. I just recently put crystals in all the trees I have planted around the premitor of my gifted house from the universe. It sounds a little out there and it is. A great movement is in motion. I hope you tribe is well. I am really excited about attending the David Wolf conference at the end of the month. Thank You . Your energy seems so pure it comes through your e-mails.

  30. That was beautiful and so true. I wish every person and every community could learn to join in that kind of nurturing “tribal” spirit. All of us are poorer mentally, emotionally, and spiritually because our society has, by and large, lost that spirit. I pray that someday, some way we can bring it back and soon.

  31. This is the simplistic answer to the problems the world faces in present times. People distance themselves from their family members for good reasons. Most of them have been abused in assorted ways and need to keep away from the people who have abused and wounded them. It is not healthy for the self esteem and personal growth to stick around in such circumstances. One can forgive but that doesn’t mean one should hang around with the people who have caused so much damage. One does not seek love and sustenance from those who have done them harm. Others keep away from their families out of necessity due to different religious beliefs and life values. When one no longer shares the beliefs, practices, customs and values of the “tribe” was is born into, one has to leave to find one’s own way. One has to find “family” with another “tribe”. This applies to the neighborhood community as well.

  32. Nick thank you, let’s re unite our tribes. We lived in Turkey for long years and interacted happily with 4-5
    generations in daily life…….it works, it’s fun….. happily and healthily for all !
    We returned to Australia when my parents were elderly, and I was shocked with the divisions that are ‘set up ‘/encouraged/promoted in family’s. I hope people awaken to the Military tactics used by Governments and Commercialization….’divide to conquer’ &’ isolate to control’…… mostly to heartlessly sell more products & services.
    The ‘force feeding’ of Pharmaceuticals to elderly people in homes & institutions is shocking…..all under the guise of ‘we care’. We were offered Investment opportunities which are highly profitable in Real Estate developments for elderly, and Nursing Homes, where the elders are separated from their families and society. To buy into one of these, an elderly person or couple are advised to sell the family home, and buy into a Retirement Home/Resort etc, and when they pass on, that money is gone ! It’s legal. The Unit/home cannot be sold by the children, they inherit nothing….the Development Co. laughed all the way to the Bank. Yes there are also some legitimate Care services available.
    Yes, it is up to us in this present generation to change this heartless behavior that has proliferated since the Second World War. Yes to maintaining holistic families…. reuniting our tribe
    thanks Nick for your inspiration from the other side of the world,

    1. Yes – Exactly! It’s just another way for ‘them’ to harvest every possible resource and bit of value from our external lives, as well as feed off the increased misery of our internal lives…

  33. For God sake, this is innate wisdom! You don’t need “peer-reviewed”, “double-blinded”, “placebo-controlled” studies and a mountain of research papers in order to decide that whatever written in this article is true and should be given a serious thought !!

  34. Hi, I love your article. It is so true. So much sadness, disoriantation, lonelyness, anger and fear because we are all separate from one another. Families have to be a family again. The sense of tribe has to be reinstore again.
    Thanks for your article.

  35. Thanks Nick. As always you come through with thoughtful reading that has purpose. Peace in your heart brother.

  36. This following of “tribes”in our current society is why Alcoholics Anonymous works so effectively. No one person creates sobriety without the help, wisdom and connectedness that is created in 12 step rooms. This need for being connected is a big reason many sustained themselves with alcohol, drugs, retail therapy, gambling and food addictions. This “tribe model” is far more successful than any treatment center’s high priced insurance scam.

  37. Thank you for writing about this so beautifully. This is absolutely vital for us to come back to. The small town I live in is seeing an increase in suicides and we are currently discussing this very topic. I agree with all your points wholeheartedly. Blessings, Sonia

  38. Unfortunately re-integration is exceedingly difficult, when the separation is not only physical and sociological, but spiritual and ideological as well.
    Tell me. How does one bring their children to their grandparents, when said grandparents think you’re going to hell because you are no longer Christian? Or think you are going to hell because you are in a same-sex marriage? Or want to indoctrinate your children into the racist ideology of their southern roots?
    Unfortunately, bringing back the concept of tribe will not solve the problem of a sick society on its own.
    Hatred and bigotry need to be eradicated first, otherwise many families can not be a tribe, because they do not love each other. A tribe can not exist if they are not of one mind regarding what is a moral way to treat other human beings. You forgot to mention that tribes don’t only share successes, failures, pain, and joy. They also share taboos, a common mythology and history, and a common code of ethics and justice.
    We are living in a time when people who are blood kin no longer share these things in common.
    How do we remedy that?

  39. Nick, that was so eloquently written, and immensely true! I remember “car pooling,” which formed from the 70’s gas crisis. There has been an exponential fear and paranoia, etched into people’s lives, driven by our governments desire to propagate it’self, and the media’s desire for ratings; coupled with the extremely, fast pace of technology, which has separated neighbor from neighbor, and broken up so many families… Neighbor’s don’t know, or want to know, neighbors. Everywhere, there is fear…Today the mere thought of car pooling is practically extinct! As everyone needs their “own, protected space.” As you look at the outrageous traffic, everywhere now, it’s not hard to see why… There’s generally, one person in each car.
    This last sentence is metaphoric, in that it denotes what us, as a society, has become. Alone and afraid. It is with levity that I say, everyone thinks everyone else, drives like an idiot.

    There is an innate “space” within us all. It’s the spirit. In most, it’s empty, unfulfilled. It screams, however subtly, that there’s more. And the ego screams, where is it!
    It is you. And all around you. I have run the gambit of “seeking” to fill this hole myself. It started with theology. Then later, after a life changing, traumatic illness wiped out my entire life: Meditation, Eknath Easwarren, The Power of now, Ekheart Tolle. The law of attraction and beyond, at the Illuminati level. (The brotherhood, free Mason’s, etc.) I studied, learned, practiced and applied these things in my life. But It ended when I went to a sweat! And I went to a place of so much love, joy, and “inclusion,” which touched my very soul! I was enough. All things Sacred. And I was merged with the divine in all things. It was overwhelming. But more so, it was also communal. I did this with a spiritual leader, from a Native American healing circle, which also held, much “power.” And we did this with a couple dozen souls, together. No one can do this, seek this, alone.
    You are spot on when you speak of the “Tribe,” as a necessary component to a fulfilling life. I believe as you do, that we are each off us, born with innate qualities, that when merged, form a whole, complete, being. We cannot do without each other. We cannot do without Mother Earth. We cannot do without family. We cannot be without community, which is all of us. We are one… And one with all of creation, which is “everything.” The universe and all that’s in it.

  40. How true this is!!!… In my own family one set of grandparents are and have been favored honoured and respected and visited in preference to the other.(mine) by my children…and the grief i see this create is huge and bewildering and the hurt of having to say “i dont know when the grandchildren are coming to visit.””…
    To watch my own parents question me over the CHOICES my own children make. who strongly favour and actively select to engage with only their fathers parents.. .is simply heartbreaking. We AlL miss out on those beautiful generational moments that strengthen and bind…. These are questions my heart cannot answer.. for those answers lie within the next generation’s hearts…I see my parent’s pain and rejection as fractured and blurred like broken glass – compared to my richly honoured and most treasured “filmclips of love” that my parents and I carry which are our own grandparent memories !!!

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