I have a little challenge for you today that involves a simple, but often cathartic ritual that has been practiced for thousands of years — eye gazing.
Our eyes are highly complex organs, capable of distinguishing the most finite details of our surroundings and interpreting the slightest discrepancy in another’s countenance. And yet, we rarely make direct eye contact with one another for more than a flashing moment.
It can feel awkward to lock eyes for too long during a normal conversation, but what is the source of that discomfort?
“The eyes are the window to your soul.” —William Shakespeare
Beyond the various cultural connotations and social dos and don’ts that surround eye contact, there is an opportunity to create true connection with the people who matter to us.
Truly “seeing” another is one more checkpoint on the medicine path—a place to step outside of your ego and into your higher self.
Eye gazing—much different from eye contact—is a way to do just that. You’ll be surprised at what you’ll see and the emotions you’ll feel through the experience. It rarely disappoints.
The beauty of the exercise below is that it’s alarmingly easy, yet so rarely done, even with our most intimate relationships. There’s incredible power to gazing with someone you’re already in close relationship with (friends, lovers, and family), but it’s equally wondrous to do it with complete strangers.
The Eye Gazing Exercise:
This works best when both parties are already relaxed and fully present, so do whatever you need to get in this state. A 15-minute meditation, a yoga asana, a breathing exercise, a walk in nature, aromatherapy, or your favorite hot/cold therapy could work well here.
1) Set a timer for 10 minutes.
2) Sit across from your partner, preferably cross-legged on a soft rug or cushion, arms-length apart.
3) Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths.
4) Open your lids and look into the eyes of the person in front of you. Let the muscles in your face and body respond naturally to whatever is occurring in the gaze. This isn’t a staring contest; blinking is allowed.
5) No talking.
After the ten minutes are complete, it’s up to you whether you want to share your experience with your partner. Sometimes a conversation seems like a natural extension of what you just witnessed, and other times it feels more appropriate to simply thank one another and allow the experience to be what it is.
Buddhist teachings tell us that we are mirrors for one another, living reflections of both the light and the darkness that exist in our inner worlds. With our busy lives, it’s easy to forget to honor that sacred connection.
We must open up if we are to help one another in this life.
Stay Curious,
Nick Polizzi
Founder of The Sacred Science
6 Responses
Hi Nick, I’ve been following you for years and love the many facets of your explorations. Many, many thanks for all that you share!
Thank you. I forgot this beautiful practice. It is a powerful yet gentle way to connect soul to soul. I look forward to doing this again.
Eye gazing seems like a beautiful practice i am eager to try with my partner and also experiment how i can incorporate this beautiful experience into my current practices of healing
The only partner I have is my cat, so we will do this practice together.
I thoroughly enjoyed this article on eye gazing, I don’t always know when something requires eye to eye contact and if the truth is what I’m learning, however eye gazing I find intriguing particularly when doing it with a partner. I feel that I have experienced the sensation when I go for a walk outside (a spring, Summer or Fall activity) and all of a sudden I hear the leaves whispering. It’s a relaxing feeling or at l least I feel good or notice subject matter changes, stress disappears and life returns. Thanks Maybe I can find that peace dealing with my latest health challenge. Thanks for the inspiration.
Thank you so much for all that you are sharing, Nick! I’ve been reading you for years: same interests, but not so much with Ayahuasca…The three times I did it I was really sick and I’d rather do holotropic breathwork…
I moved to the mountain jungle of Peru in late 2020 and walk barefoot all day long ever since, even when I walk around my quebrada, looking for mushrooms. When my dermatologist friend in Lima found out she gave me a whole bunch of medicines quote as there are many bacteria or the like in jungle soil that can generate into tumors unquote. I felt sorry for her, that she would probably never feel its incredible effects…I have even felt like I was looking through my eyes that were a couple of feet higher than my head!
Gracias de corazón 💚