This is one of those articles where I tell you a spiritual lesson I learned the hard way – by making a boneheaded mistake 🙂
Ready? Ok… here we go.
A few years ago, I was prancing along through the wildflower meadows of life when out of nowhere, storm clouds appeared.
The sky darkened. The birds stopped chirping. The bees stopped buzzing.
The nectar of life that flowed so abundantly just moments before was now leaving my body. My trusty inner compass that always pointed true north stared back at me, its needle spinning around lazily in a circle of doom.
I was suddenly lost. Not the exotic kind of lost, like finding yourself in the middle of nowhere in the Amazon. This felt like emptiness.
I’d lost my will to move. Everything that had led me to this very moment in time seemed to have abandoned me.
How did this happen?
I spent the next few months working with different ceremonies and somatic techniques, backtracking through soul terrain. I guess the goal was to figure out my last known location and triangulate in on where I might have veered down a wrong path.
I was in a sweat lodge, hosted by my friend Leaf (Shawnee Pipe Carrier and all around good guy) when the answers began to reveal themselves.
In the darkness and smothering heat, a transmission came through that sounded something like this:
I had gotten too comfortable in my current pattern of existence and had begun to play life too safely.
I had begun to resist the unknown – a total Buddhist no no.
In doing so, I had broken a pact that I’d made with the universe – and myself – over a decade ago.
The pact I had made was a commitment to a life of service. Aimed at ending suffering of self, of family, of community.
And I’d made good on that pact for quite a while. I’d worked my butt off for over a decade to create a beautiful community around ancient medicine and spiritual evolution. But once it had finally manifested, I tricked myself into thinking I deserved a little breather from the hardship.
I started clinging to the pursuit of permanent happiness and safety. As if that’s actually a thing.
This subtle posture of avoidance destabilized me and all it took was a little unexpected weather on a sunny day to topple me headlong into the abyss. Which is where I found myself, tumbling and fumbling for a foothold. Or a parachute.
The sweat lodge transmission concludes with the final takeaway:
When this path is walked without deviation, a silver thread pulls us forward, guiding us through the unknown waters that lie ahead. An endless reservoir of resources miraculously makes itself available. (If you’re reading close, this is the easter egg —> Folks ask me how I’ve built this platform and all these films, books etc… this is how.)
The tough part is that the path does sometimes lead you into the unknown. And you have to be comfortable with that.
The other doozy is that getting too attached to the safety of a nearby harbor or desert oasis can send you into an existential tailspin. As I learned the hard way.
Within a week of learning this hard-earned lesson, I’d turned my ship back into the storm. I started moving outside the comfort zone again, taking on slightly scary projects aimed at making a sizable social impact.
And guess what? My trusty compass began working again. And along with it, some new gauges began to light up on the inner dashboard. For real.
So… why am I telling you all this?
Because I am you. And you are me.
If you ever feel lost – know that you are not alone.
And never forget this sacred trio for times of crisis:
- Seek out ceremony (whatever tradition feels right to you, but choose one!)
- Make friends with the meditation cushion
- Remember the majesty of your breath
Stay curious,
Nick Polizzi
Founder of The Sacred Science
22 Responses
thank you for this message! It’s beautiful. I am looking for a book or resource that’ll you recommend about ceremonies and rituals. Have a nice mysterious day!
This writing, Nick, spoke deeply to me…
So grateful to be one with you and your community.
Namaste, Lynda
Hello Nick,
Have been following you for years now. So many times your posts have hit right on the noggin; today’s is no exception. Timing is all. I have lost sight of my path and definitely need to get back on track. Blessings light upon you for the good work you do.
With love from Cordelia
I always feel a connection with the information being provided by Nick. As if my name has been deleted and my story being told.
Thank you Nick.
Such a truth filled post, thank you.
Thank you, Nick, for this very comforting article. I have indeed been feeling lost for some time now and it is always good to be reminded that we are not alone in these moments of our life. Thank you for sharing this.
Thank you so much, Nick, deeply appreciated.
Patricia
Thank you. This was truly meaningful. And I think you might have turned on a light for me…
Namaste
Thank you for this article! I needed this message today. Pamela
It is hard to turn into the unknown but unless you do, you lose yourself. A lesson I have to keep learning.
Thank you for sharing. We all have our moments. We’re human.
You speak to me , the whole soup of me. Your energies of grace and truth and kindness and God/dessness and pure unconditional love and all the light that we are, flood me with remembrance that my breath is sacred in itself… in myself… in yourself. OH BIG YEAAAA!!!!
Thank you so much for reaching out and sharing this deeply personal experience. This is timely indeed as Spring approaches in these uncertain times and we are called upon to renew our commitment to living in a loving and meaningful
manner.
Nick, I resonated with this. I have recently been feeling very low and lacking in motivation. As a Buddhist practitioner, I meditate every day and go on retreats often and none of this has helped. I have many voluntary jobs on the go. I am sure the universe will send the right ceremony/healer to help me accept this dark cloud that is so bewildering! Thank you .
Thank you for these words.
Just turning back into the unknown after trying hard to escape where I was and denying I had to return. My dreaming up such a space of protection is the stuckness and non real. Going back has not helped. Going through is also fear based and non reality for me. Pausing in love is a dirty slow business. Pray for me. Thank you again. J
Thank you for sharing your words of wisdom, Nick. You are amazing.
Thank you. I needed this today!
Immobility—teetering between not wanting to give up where you are and not wanting to miss whatever else is out there.
I too have found through participation in Sweat Ceremony of the Maidu and Lakota modalities that
my focus on being a Steward of the World Maker’s manifestations is both strengthened and amplified.I “inner stand” through the twigs received in doing Ceremony how to proceed. A continual “work in progress”. Blessings to y’all as said in Maidu greeting….”you make me better” ….
Hi Nick,
I was pleasantly astonished to read about your experiences above. Why so? Because it described how I have been feeling and not understanding what’s happening with me. You nailed all the points on the head of all my concerns and even your questions were the same as well. So uncanny, but not … as we know how the universe works. It’s so nice to hear someone painting ‘your own’ picture that we just cannot see the trees for the forest. Such a relief! Once you get to understand what is happening, then you can actually start working on rectifying where changes need to be made or increased where needed. But also your comment of staying close to the oasis and the comfort zones fearing of venturing out too far…fear of the unknown…or fear of your own capabilities, fear of your own growth, fear of failing or getting hurt. But hey, as a child…my inner determination and desire to try and practice and improve beyond non-existant financial help which seemed impossible, did come to the fore when needed….through means unseen and unkown to me where it was to come from. I just put my efforts into training and I guess I just went on faith in the sense…hoping things would turn out and eventuate, which they did. I just need to re-impliment this bahavior that I had when I was young, and also growing up. But as an adult, things get in the way with ‘man’s’ learning how to achieve…rather than stay with the known belief, the universe or God in my case…has/had come to the fore every time for me. Which no longer stayed in my psyche as faith only, but became a very strong and unequivocal belief and knowledge. It is our mountains in our lives that we need to climb, is where our growth becomes! Not to dodge the mountains.
Thank you!!!
(the “Absolute” timing is immaculate!!!!)
John
I feel so connected and yet such a beginner. I am waking up and feel so alone. Angels are reaching out to me. I grasp and cling to the invisible hands that reach out. Nobody has my silver thread yet we are all connected. Does it matter what happens next? Thank you for assisting me like bumper guardians in life. Thank you thank you.